Life is about changes and a lot of people, things and situations happen in our life that can either bring a lot of joy or a lot of sadness. What's important is to keep the positive, let go of the negative and accept that in order for something to be constant in life there has to be a mutual compromise and desire to stay in that stage, that friendship or that relationship.
Once that bond and that desire to stay together has been broken and you have put all your efforts to make it work without any success, it's time to let go. Don't expect from others what you are not willing to give. I am a very genuine and giving person so I may be hurt very often by people's attitude and actions but I've learned you can either accept that not because you give a 300% you will receive a 300% and not to try to figure out people. We all come from different backgrounds and experiences in life and, as hard as it may sometimes be, we need to accept people for who they are and, most importantly, understand them. If you are not willing to do this, as Paulo Coelho wrote, it's time to close that cycle and let go.
I saw this post and immediately remembered a lot of the relationships in my life that were repaired and the ones that were broken off. I also remembered all the late night conversations with my friends about their relationships, about work and about life. All you can do is wish for those people or situations to workout for the best, remember the positive and be extremely grateful for all the amazing people and things that are constant in your life.
Here is something written by Coelho I read a few years ago and that I go back to and always remember because it helps you understand the changes that life brings. I translated it so even though I tried to translate directly there's some personal interpretation to it. Anyways here it is and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
Closing Cycles
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave that house? Do you have to go abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time of your present asking yourself why and rewinding the tape over and over again to try to understand the reasons for certain things happening. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. Such an attitude will be awfully stressing because everyone, your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, we are all destined to start closing chapters, turning over new pages, finishing stages or moments and getting on with life.
You can't be in the present yearning the past. You can't keep asking yourself why. Whatever happened, happened and you have to let go. You can't be a child forever, a teenager later in life, employee of a non-existent company or have a relationship with someone who doesn't want a relationship with you. Things pass, and the best you can do is to let them really go away. That's why it's so important (however painful it may be!) to get rid of memories, give away personal gifts, move out of a house, destroy papers, throw away documents and sell or give away books. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go, release and detach yourself from them.
External changes may symbolize internal processes of self-growth. Let go and move away from the situation. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. You got to let go, turn the page and live the present.
The past has passed. Don't expect anything in return, don't expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Let go of your resentments. Stop turning in your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss. That will only emotionally damage and poison you, nothing else.
Life is always ahead, never in the past. If you go thru life leaving doors open just in case, you will never be able to let go or live the present with satisfaction. Broken friendships or relationships? Possibilities to go back? (Go back to what?) Need to clear the air with someone? Were there words that were never said? If you can, confront and deal with them NOW. Do it or let it go and close that chapter. Tell yourself NO and be in peace with the fact that those moments won't come back. Not because you are stubborn, incapable, proud or arrogant, but because you don't fit in that place, that heart, that room, that house, that office or that job anymore.
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished. Tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.
Although your essence and who you are in your heart might be the same, because of daily life experiences and your constant learning, you are not exactly the same person you were two days, three months or a year ago. There's nothing to go back to. Shut the door, turn the page and close the cycle. You won't be the same nor the environment you'll go back to will be the same because nothing in life stays still. It's mental health and love for yourself to let go of the things that are no longer in your life.
Remember that no one is indispensable. Not a person, not a place or a job. Nobody is vital for you to live because you came into this world alone and there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person. Nothing is irreplaceable. A habit is not a need. It's a personal job to learn how to live without that person, place or situation that is so hurtful to let go of today.
There are a lot of words to signify mental health and no matter which you choose, it will definitely help you live your life in peace. That's how life is!
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